From Motherhood to Faith
Parenthood seems to bring along its fair share of change. A lot of change you kinda know to expect- change in sleep patterns (or lack thereof), change in daily routine, change in marriage, change in finances, etc. But then there are the changes you aren’t expecting. The slow but subtle changes…like your mental status. Hello! What happened to my brain? I never prided myself on being some sort of genius (or anything close) but at least I was functional. Motherhood seems to not only have robbed me of my precious sleep but it has stolen my brain as well. I miss my brain. I miss being able to form whole sentences, to clearly express my thoughts, to remember the task I was doing. I did not know I would be suffering dementia at 27…and that my husband would be suffering right along with me.
But at least I was not the one who put Elinor’s bib on my own neck before feeding her dinner the other night…
This lack of brain power might be caused by things like drum playing before the sun has risen.
“Don’t touch Elinor! No, no Elinor! Elinor, NO NO! ELINOR! NO NO!” (The cat food. The greatest temptation our 9 month old has faced. That and power cords. And yes, the outlet is uncovered and yes, I am going to cover it right now.)
I just can’t figure it out. Is it the constant busyness, the constant mess, the constant noise, the constant need. I am just so non-functional in my brain. But then my body has become like super woman. (Unfortunately this transformation has only taken place on the inside) I can go and go without ever stopping. I can run one child to the potty, while saving the other child from choking on whatever scraps she has found on the floor . I can cook dinner, while helping to draw shapes and hold a baby…music blaring in the background. Yep, life is nuts. And I still want one more. Some day.
We have a serious ballerina in our house. One who I often hear crashing around. Her leaps into the air can sometimes end pretty badly. All that being said, she is so precious. This is my favorite Cora phase so far. So adorable. So girly.
Cora and Elinor had their first trip to the Chattanooga zoo with her cousins Cooper and Colson. Cora loved it.
And tonight I made tilapia with lemon caper sauce. It was amazing. Here is the recipe if you would like to try it. I added garlic but otherwise did just what the recipe said.
First of all, I am just a tired. I am tired of Christians not having the ability to voice their beliefs. They are labeled bigots, haters, and close minded for simply defending their faith and defending God’s word. Diversity is allowed until a Christian speaks up. When asked a question, Mr Cathy answered honestly and was attacked. As though freedom of speech and religion do not apply to him because he does not hold the popular secular view. I wanted to support his company because he put himself and his company at risk by honoring what the Bible says is true.
My second reason was my first job was working at Chick Fil A. They are truly an amazing company. They give kids scholarships to go to college, they treat their employees like gold and they have the best customer service. Even now I am always impressed with how kind they are to everyone who eats in their restaurant.
Third, they have good chicken…any reason to eat there is good for me!
I have actually been spending a lot of time thinking about what it means to be a Christian. What does it look like? It looks like being set apart. It looks like being hated. It looks like being called to a higher standard which means…it looks like a life that is hard. It looks like a life that is lonely. It means we are in this world but we are not of this world. It means a lot of persecution around the world. People who want to silence the precious name of God. It means that we may not always live in this comfort because we’re not promised comfort. We are promised our daily bread. Our daily bread may not look like what we think it should be. I think my daily bread should be a feast but a brother or sister in Christ on the other side of the globe has nothing. Yet they have better daily bread than my daily bread. Because they are daily living, breathing, tasting what it is like to truly trust and rely on God for every providence. They are practicing a faith we don’t understand. We who have so much comfort. We who can speak out again injustice but buying food, by eating food…we who have so much but in a way, we have so little. But we may not always have so much. We are not promised all this comfort, all this luxury. It reminds me of Paul speaking sarcastically to the church in Corinth when he says,
“We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels s well as to men. We are fools for Christ but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.”
He is reminding them of their absolute arrogance and spiritual immaturity. We can be so mistaken. Thinking that we are somehow living in God’s blessing because we have external comfort…but are we? Or are other people truly experiencing His blessing. People around the world who have to live in the absolute uncertainty of their own life, their next meal…but they live in the absolute comfort and certainty of their faith in Christ. The blessing of spiritual riches far outweighing earthly ones.
And to go with my long winded thoughts…a new favorite song. All flesh is like Grass by Fernando Ortega.
All Flesh is like the grass.
The grass withers and fades away.
The glory of man, like a flower
That shrivels in the sun and falls
The Word of the Lord endures forever.