Freedom in His will

It’s strange carrying an ache in your heart.  A constant ache that is always there just lingering under the surface.  It’s not something any of us would choose but it’s going to happen to all of us.  At some point we will face trials of various kinds.  Particular trials that God in his will has placed in our lives. We are promised that in his word.

Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

It has been one of those times in our lives.  Justin is facing his own particular set of trials on top of the miscarriage.  There has been a lot of back-and-forth discussion…What is all this?  How as believers do we handle all that God has sovereignly place in our paths.  Because we are 100% sure he has ordained all of this to pass.

You do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a while and then vanishes.  Instead you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.

James 4:14-15

I was praying this morning about all the different circumstances in our lives that seem so dead end…or hard, or un-answered.  Waiting, waiting, waiting…waiting is so painful.

But then I realized something.  In all this waiting is true freedom!  Freedom I do not fully know when life is going well for me.  Right now I am resting in his will.  I am sitting seemingly frozen in time waiting on Him to act and I have never felt so loved by him.  But how does that make sense?  Shouldn’t I feel loved when things are going well?  Well, yes…He is always loving me but I am much more aware of it now.  Because in all this not working out I am humbled by His holiness, His might, His majesty, His sovereignty and far less aware of me.  After all, I am my biggest problem.  I love me.  I love my plans, I love my desires, I hold onto myself so tightly.

But to rest in His sweet presence.  There is nothing like it.  I look at my husband and I see so much at work.  The man I knew 8 years ago is so different than the man I know today.  He has had so many things not go as he would choose and all this disappointment causes me admire him so much more.  He has grown by leaps and bounds in who he is in Christ.  Christian living is ironic by the worlds standards.  The less that goes right for us, the more we become like the author and perfecter of our faith.  The more we have to die to self and all that we hold so tightly to, the more we reflect Him.

And I remember all the saints that have gone before us.  Hannah waiting and waiting for her son. The pain and anguish of infertility.  Sarah well beyond child bearing age, waiting for her promised son. Joseph unjustly thrown into prison and forgotten, waiting on his freedom.  Paul’s beatings, stoning, imprisonment. Waiting to be free.  Hardly what society would call a good God to trust and follow.  But God allowed all of those circumstances to happen.  They were all part of his plan for those particular believers.

Our trials are all part of his plan for this family…your trials are part of his plan for you.  So in all the pain, the anguish, the waiting, we need to remember.  There is freedom in trusting his will.  In understanding that he is sovereign.  In resting in his plan for our lives.  In knowing that he is perfect in his love.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power my rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

And a side note.  I would like to ask you all to visit my big sister’s blog.  Some of you may have followed her a few years ago at happyhelms.  After having baby 4 she took a break from blogging. She is back now with a new blog, a few more years of wisdom…as a mother of four children she definitely has a lot of good insight.  So please go visit her here.




9 Responses to Freedom in His will

  1. Grace, I always see such depth in your writing. I love the side of you that comes out in print. You know that we pray for you guys always, and are so glad that when we experience difficulty, we have one another. Beautiful photos of the girls- Elinor looks nearly as tall as CORA!

  2. Betty says:

    Beautiful post, so true. I’m reading a book about that “whole 30” and they are talking about true freedom. I read it aloud to Matt, laughing. But it’s sad too, because they believe that is their freedom. If they only knew (or would listen)

  3. justin says:

    This came to mind from Lecrae, love you babe!
    With every breath I take, with every heart beat,
    Sunrise and the moon lights in the dark street.
    Every glance, every dance, every note of a song.
    It’s all a gift undeserved that I shouldn’t have known.
    Every day that I lie, every moment I covet
    I’m deserving to die, I’m just earning your judgment.
    I, without the cross there’s only condemnation.
    If Jesus wasn’t executed there’s no celebration.
    So in times that are good, in times that are bad
    For any times that I’ve had it all I will be glad.
    And I will boast in the cross. I boast in my pains.
    I will boast in the sonshine, boast in his reign.
    What’s my life if it’s not praising you.
    Another dollar in my bank account of vain pursuit. I do.
    That count my life as any value or presence at all.
    Let me finish my race, let me answer my call.

  4. Susanna says:

    Love this post. I know the ache of waiting and waiting and wondering if life will ever make sense. I too have seen such growth in Rick the past year and a half as we have gone through trials…there is nothing like them to bring Christians closer to God and, closer in marriage as well! How much more do Rick and i need each other now than we used to and you and Justin too! I love you sister!

  5. Barbara Challies says:

    I love your vulnerable posts, Hon.

  6. Lindsey Sieders says:

    When my Dad became sick a good friend sent me this text, it was so uplifting I wanted to share it. Lamentation 3:21-23
    “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion.” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him”.

    Its a beautiful post Grace, thanks for sharing!

  7. Danelle says:

    i just deactivated my fb account. too hard. struggling too much with where God has me. trying to be thankful for all he has given which is still WAY more than I deserve. honestly, i’ve been avoiding yours and Betty’s blogs… but God spoke so deeply to me through your words of faith just now. You’re so right. There IS freedom is knowing that His love is perfect and that what He gives or doesn’t give is no measure of it. Thank you. Thank you for being vulnerable. My tears are drying up now. <3

  8. Beth says:

    I could not help but admire those pictures of Cora and Elinor. So happy…so carefree…so trusting that someone is always there to take care of them and provide for them and make sure their every need is met. We were like that too when we were that age. Why did we change? Don’t we know how that we STILL have someone taking care of us and making sure we are always right where we are supposed to be? Why is it so hard to trust once you become an adult? I miss the blissful childhood I had for sure.

  9. LeAnna says:

    Your girls are so BIG! Hard to believe Cora was just a baby when I first started reading.

    Love everything you said in this post, and it applies to each of us as Believers. Trials come, trials go. Faith rises.

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